WRONG SIDE OUT

The Southern Rural Route is a deep, narrow lot at least 400 feet in depth. I live about 200 feet into that depth.

Front driveway from gate
Front driveway from gate

In order to leave the property, I must lock and double bolt my door, cringe in pain (2011 auto accident) as I heave what’s left of me down 3 steps. I then walk 50 to 80 feet (guesstimate) to the garage, unlock it, raise the garage door, back my car out, turn it around and drive 45 feet or so (another guesstimate) to the front gate. Get out, open the gate, get back in the car, drive it through the gate, get back out of the car, close the gate and THEN I can leave the property.

If, at that point, I discover my shirt is on backwards, I sure as cotton pickin’ ain’t going back home.

No fooling, this happened to me the other day. I briefly thought about yanking the shirt over my head right there in the car and made one of those furtive glances around the neighborhood trying to determine who might be home peeking out the windows.

In the end, I decided it wasn’t worth the drama. Living on the wrong side of trouble, as I do, about the time I had the shirt over my head, the po-leece would roar down the street, sirens blaring, and scare the pea-picking living daylights out of me. It could happen. We had a burglary on our street just last week and with my luck, indecency trumps burglary.

I made the very wise decision to proceed to the store where I gave the clerk the battery I needed for my garage door opener while I headed to the restroom. It took me about thirty seconds to fix my shirt and only two clerks at the battery store knew I had started my day wrong side out.

Other News

Poppie and I had been working in the yard yesterday and were resting our bones in the rocking chairs when a red fox came streaking through about 20 feet in front of us.  I was so excited I hollered, “A fox!” We then discussed how we haven’t seen foxes out here in 15 years or more. Poppie thinks Homer’s tractor prompted the fox to seek safer ground. We watched him run all the way down Mr. Golf Cart’s fence line and duck into the woods.

Yesterday was also my day to pick up limbs so Poppie could mow and I found another interesting mushroom. I looks lacy to me but I suppose some folks will think it has a skin disease.

 mushroom white lacy2-5835