My Blog


TOO HOT FOR CLOTHES • Southern Rural Route

I’ve been racing against the clock since the first of March trying to get all my flower beds weeded and covered with new mulch before Memorial Day. After that date, it is too hot to work out in the yard and I become an air-conditioning fanatic.

Heat in the upper 90’s is bad enough but down here in the South, we get this additional ingredient called humidity. That stuff makes you sweat buckets. Next thing you know, your Misery Index is up there in the stratosphere.

I’ve thought about this a lot and I’ve come to the conclusion that I might be able to garden past Memorial Day if I could give up wearing clothes. If everyone gave up clothes in the summer, my nakedness would be no big deal. Besides, wasn’t there an Emperor who wore no clothes? Under the law of What’s Good For The Goose Is Good For The Gander, the rest of us should also be allowed to wear no clothes.

Additionally, everyone could see what everyone else had and decide whether or not they wanted to fool with it. It would be the ultimate in honesty. After all, clothes hide all manner of saggy parts. Here are my saggy parts:

Can I get an Amen on this?