NEUROTIC CAT DEPARTMENT

Post last updated: March 4th, 2018

I think I may have hit the jackpot in the Neurotic Cat Department with my Siamese, Zorro.  When it comes to Siamese, I do have a basis of comparison. I once had a Snowshoe Siamese given to me as a kitten. He had enough “regular” cat in him to have the pretty, rounded head and his temperament was normal. Zorro has a pointed nose and, presumably, more Siamese DNA. Plus, there’s nothing normal about him unless he’s merely missing a few of his faculties.

Zorro in December 2014
Zorro in December 2014

 

Zorro in October 2016
Zorro in October 2016

I don’t want to overstate my case but he’s been driving me wonky and I don’t need a cat adding to my troubled psychology. In no particular order, let me give you a few examples of his neurotic behavior:

He is a 4 legged alarm clock. The wailing to be fed starts at 6 a.m. You have not lived until you have heard a Siamese cat wail with lungs more powerful than a horse.

He likes to burrow under the covers.

A few hours after I put a new Seresto flea and tick collar on him, he had bit one of the little amber pieces off. Two weeks later, he had chewed off so many of them I removed the collar.

I often clean receipts out of my wallet at the dining room table. If I wad up a receipt and drop it temporarily on the table, Zorro makes a flying leap for it and off he goes. Sometimes it takes days for a receipt to show up again.

Zorro holds me responsible for inclement weather. Every 10 minutes, he wants me to open the door so he can see if I have fixed the weather. Once he becomes deeply discouraged, he runs to the back door and wails because he wants to check the weather on that side of the house, too.

I returned from errands on a day we had a real monsoon. Whiskey was on the porch and Zorro was UNDER the porch, wailing piteously. I think he wanted me to crawl under there and get him so that he wouldn’t get drenched in the rain. Of course, I was unwilling to do that. It’s bad enough that I have to butler both the front and back doors because I allowed myself to become a cat butler. I am NOT adding porch crawls to my list of duties.

Periodically, he goes inside my office closet, climbs up a 3-step ladder to the top and sits there wailing about the indignities of his life.

The day I put flea meds on him, I threw him out of the house because I don’t want that stuff all over my linens. Zorro was not happy being tossed out of the house because he hunts at night and sleeps all day in my bed. Every time he snuck back in, I threw him out. After the tenth time, he was so mad he stood on the front porch steps glowering at me and swishing his tail.

He gets his annual shots at the mobile vet. Right off the bat, the vet wants to know why Zorro is missing patches of fur. I explained that he was enthusiastic about grooming himself. Immediately, the vet diagnoses him as “OCD” (obsessive compulsive disorder). You will be so proud of me. I did not collapse into paroxysms of unrestrained hootin’ and hollerin’. I waited until I got everyone in the car, with all the windows rolled up, and THEN I slapped the steering wheel and hollered “I knew he was nuts!”

 

24 thoughts on “NEUROTIC CAT DEPARTMENT”

  1. Did you ever think that its YOU that attracts the neurotic feline? They model themselves after their owner don’t they?

      1. Those cats are just like their pet (you). You talk sweeter to them then you talk to your own flesh and blood. LOL!!! That’s why they’re crazy. They can’t figure out what they are. Remember when you brought Zorro up to my office (a law office mind you) in a bag because you just couldn’t be apart from him. OMG now I’m thinking of some of your antics with the 4 feet babies and I’m dying over here.

        1. Evie – Are you trying to RUIN my reputation? You’ll have people imagining me dragging my cat around with me in a paper grocery bag. It was a purple tote bag, for crying out loud. And you are stretching the truth about me toting him everywhere. I took him up to your office because you morons wanted to see him when he was a kitten.

  2. Cats can have such varied personalities. Not always to our liking. Glad the Vet confirmed your suspicions that there was something wrong with Zorro. 🙂

  3. I love that cat. He’s been a handful since you got him. You knew nothing that appeared on your property would be normal so I don’t know why you didn’t think you were going to get a crazy cat. He tickles the devil out of me. Your other cats just ran for cover when someone appeared unless it was my son which then they just sat and stared at him which made me nervous. Something is really wrong with all those cats you call your family. Whisky thinks he’s a dog and Zorro is just crazy. You couldn’t have gotten a better crew. You deserve them.

    1. Evie – I deserve them, eh? Let’s talk about that dog your 5-year-old son dropped on it’s head right in front of the breeder and then you had to buy him because you had already brained the poor animal. That dog was crazy his whole life.

      1. I know and it became the best dog I have had. Best $20 I ever spent. I still laugh when I think of it. I couldn’t believe I was going home with a brain dead dog. Then we found out he wasn’t brain dead. His marbles were just a little scattered. I loved that furrbaby.

  4. Sounds like you might need a crate…for you! He sounds like a hoot…and a character. Glad he has you to put up with his hollering and antics.

  5. I think he is wonderful!! What would the world be like without the Zorros????? Me thinks he too circles the crooked moon…
    Gypsy

  6. Ha, ha! It might be something in those Siamese cat genes, though, because I know someone else with a Siamese who goes through very similar and nutty problems. I think all cats tend to view humans as their personal minions that exist just to serve therm – I know mine do!

    1. Indie – It’s good to hear that it might be a Siamese thing although my Snowshoe Siamese was normal. The two cats I have now are the most affectionate and chatty of any cats I’ve owned. I’ve never raised a hand to them and they understand the word “No.”

  7. Reading this gave me more than a few chuckles. My husband has accused me of being OCD (completely undeserved). I think your cat sounds normal.

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