Post last updated: October 3rd, 2018

I haven’t posted here for several weeks but, trust me, any reports of my death are erroneous. I can envision how such a report might happen. Someone borrows your name, birth date and insurance card number to pay for an ambulance ride. At the hospital, they fall off the gurney, bang their head on the floor and croak. With your info on the chart, your next of kin get the call that you have expired.

I talked to both the ambulance company and my insurance provider. The ambulance people twice said it smelled rank. The insurer claims it a mere “mistake” by the ambulance people. At any rate, it was supposedly removed from my account. My brother-in-law, Mr. Priss, claims this could only happen to me but if that’s the case, am I the only one opening claim statements from the health insurance company?

I have no amazing gardening stories to share this season because it has been too hot, too humid, and too rainy, in my opinion. I have no idea what the weatherman thinks about it. The humidity is 71% at 9 in the morning and it rains almost every day. Such miserable rain forest conditions offer no encouragement for spending time in the garden. Some of the weeds are two feet high and they can stay that way until it cools down.

In May the Gator Pond was bone dry. In June, one of God’s angels turned on the rain spigot and forgot to turn it back off. The Gator Pond now overfloweth. Before you get all excited thinking I live among alligators, let me assure you that no self-respecting gator would lay claim to a five foot wide pond.

Gator Pond-6255
The Gator Pond

The Gator Pond got its name from my mail art friends, who, generally speaking, are just like me – they hang out on the other side of normal. However, they were quite normal when it came to associating Florida with alligators, swamps and mosquitos big enough to saddle and ride. Mail arrived addressed to “Gator Bait,” “Gator Jones” and even “Godforsaken Rockless Swampland Jones” (yes, I suffered from rock envy in the 90’s, too). Learning of a small pond at the edge of the woods started their wild stories about my living next to the “Gator Pond.” The name stuck and just yesterday, my brother made a verbal reference to the Gator Pond.

In other Southern Rural Route news, both Mrs. Golf Cart and her step-daughter grew their first vegetable gardens this spring/summer. I’ll admit to being pleased they took this path because I can remember the excitement of walking into my first garden and finding a one inch string bean or a teeny tiny tomato. Everyone should experience this magic at least once in their lives.

24 thoughts on “ROUTE NEWS”

  1. I agree that everyone should experience some garden-growing magic! On another note, somewhat gator pond related, my mother sent me a picture of a cute little turtle she’d found living under a block in her backyard. It’s an alligator turtle! After I sent her photos of what it will eventually grow up to be, she and my father promptly devised a plan to remove it ASAP.

    The family dachshund survives another Florida creature encounter.

    1. Dena — Mamma Mia! I looked that turtle up on Google Images. Big pointy mountains on his back and oh, those teeth! You aren’t kidding the dachshund has survived. I then tried to look up various turtle names to determine what kind of turtles are hanging around here but they weren’t box or snapping turtles and nothing came up for dark brown turtle so I will continue to live in mystery. Did your mother tell you how much RAIN we’ve been getting this summer?

  2. So what has happened to you now? What is this about ambulances and insurance claims? I don’t want to even think about gators except the boys who run around in orange and blue on the football field. I weeded Saturday in the front. It looks so much better. I am doing the back tomorrow no matter how hot, humid, or rain. It will be so much worst by the time it cools off. I made a vegetable garden once, but I’m a quick learner. I think my tomatoes, peppers, squash, beans, and whatever else I planted long ago ended up costing more than buying them at the store. So I’ll stick with Publix and roadside stands. So do some explaining about your reported death.

    1. Hmmmm, I didn’t write it very good if you need further explanation. Someone used my account info to pay for an ambulance ride. IF they had fallen off a gurney and killed themselves, like I suggested, and they were in the hospital using MY insurance information, I have to assume their people would not be called. My people would.

  3. You are one in a million or 2… My back yard has not the gator, but the LOCH NESS MONSTER in it…I think! Proud of your neighbors and their garden!

  4. North of Atlanta was perfectly dry until I went to Florida this past weekend to visit you and then all that sticky, humid rain, followed us home and it is now raining here! I went for a walk after work today and it was a lovely sunny cool afternoon, but before I could get my rump home, it started raining! I got soaked. On the bright side, I did see a lovely rainbow (because it was perfectly sunny when I left and continued to be during the sun shower). Keep clear of those Gators!

  5. Well, I am glad you are not dead! I too am tired of our rainforest conditions. The weatherman keeps assuring us dry, cooler air is coming. At least I don’t have alligators living in my garden, though assorted other monsters are reported to be there.

  6. Gator pond makes me chuckle. People that steal deserve to fall off a gurney real or otherwise. Your world is certainly never dull. Speaking of which, I’ll be passing through your neighborhood tomorrow and will be honking as I fly by, so if you are nekkid in those tall weeds, watch out, I may have my binoculars out.

    1. Kim – I’m with you on thieves deserving to fall off a gurney. I didn’t hear your honk. Honk louder next time! And don’t worry, I don’t do nekkid. I like all the photos you have lined up on your blog under “Outside My Window.”

  7. Linda, when I first read this I thought you were joking. What an amazing and weird thing to happen. I’m so pleased you’re alive still! That log in the picture looks a bit like a gator. Thanks for giving me a good laugh. I’m imagining mosquitos big enough to saddle and ride!

    1. Catmint – You don’t have skeeters (mosquitos) in your neck o’ the woods? Ya’ll got some b-a-d snakes; seems like you’d have skeeters, too. No, the ambulance ride on my health insurance was not a joke. The supposition that such a thief might fall off a gurney was some of my typical exaggeration. I’m one of those honest-to-a-fault people but I do love to exaggerate. I can see how that pine tree might look like a gator in the dark there at the edge of the woods. The pine fell over in a storm and we just left it since it’s in the woods.

  8. I did forget to mention in my earlier comment, that the way you took the picture made it look like a Gator could come crawling out of that pond anytime! Be careful!

    1. The area the Gator Pond is in is dark so I was aiming where I had the most light. I’m not worried about any Gators. That pond is too small. I’m hoping you remember where the pond is located (edge of the woods on right-hand side as you walk out to the woods).

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