Post last updated: March 18th, 2019

The last time I called for eggs, Mrs. Beekeeper told me that Junior got rid of the hens to go mountain climbing or some such event. I don’t remember, exactly.  She mentioned that Junior kept the rooster because it was “a good guard dog.”

crockpot rooster-0501
Chickens and roosters are hard to photograph. They don’t pose.
Next time I catch him wandering, I’ll take a new photo.

I almost choked. I’m sure I gasped. That rooster’s inner clock is on the fritz and he crows not only at sunrise but all day long. However, the Law of Circumstance dictates that the very moment you need the rooster to scare off a burglar, is the moment he’s going to cock his head and give the burglar his stupid look.

With the air conditioning on, I can’t hear the rooster most of the time. When I do, I go to YouTube and crank up Martin Hurkens. He sings You Raise Me Up better than either Josh Groban or Susan Boyle.

After Junior got rid of the hens, he gave the rooster the run of the neighborhood which is only fair. You can’t lock up a rooster all by his lonely. It’s not – what is the chicken equivalent of “humane?” Chickenane? Henane? Roostermane? I dunno. You can tell me later.

I’ve seen that rooster in the middle of the road, two doors down, and all the way down at Mr. Golfcart’s. I’ve seen him chasing behind a neighbor’s riding lawn mower. I’ve seen him poking around in the grass in our yard which is okay because he leaves no evidence. However, he leaves a lot of evidence when he does his rooster scratching in our driveway outside the gate.

Note edge of driveway in bottom right-hand corner
Note edge of driveway in bottom right-hand corner
What a mess!
What a mess!

The driveway and the crowing condemned him. Despite having no authority over his future, I nominate him a Crockpot Rooster.

15 thoughts on “CROCKPOT ROOSTER”

  1. It’s illegal here in Columbus to have a rooster within the city limits. Chickens yes, roosters no. Can you get it arrested for vagrancy? Nuisance? Loitering, disturbing the peace? Destruction of property? How about arranging a hit and run? I have a great recipe for rooster soup.

      1. Do you remember me talking about a friend of mine from years ago – Quinn. The one that had four children then adopted five black children? She is a super Christian woman, almost to the annoying side. Skip to the present. I hear she has chickens, lots and lots of chickens at her house. But no roosters cause they aren’t allowed in the city. She had to get a signed agreement from her neighbors in order to have them inside the city limits. They are all pets. They roam in INSIDE of her house, too. She also has pigeons, and a collection of other animals that I haven’t seen. All her kids are out of the house now. One passed away last year (from a seizure) and a couple of the adopted ones had alcohol syndrome issues and perhaps are on public assistance. I have recently been in email contact with her and hope to visit her and her ‘farm in the city’ sometime soon.

        How do you eat chicken if you like them so much? The rooster doesn’t lay eggs so he is actually useless except for the alarm clock abilities. Maybe a hen or two would calm him down. hee hee

        1. Yes, I remember Quinn. I’d like to know what “lots and lots” of chickens are on a suburban lot. The City of Jacksonville allows people to keep a few but only 300 people are allowed to keep them. No roosters. Roaming inside the house is a bit much. I’m assuming they don’t wear chicken diapers. I don’t have a problem eating chicken — that’s grocery store chicken, not a chicken I personally knew. The rooster DOES have another use. If you have hens, he fertilizes the egg so that you can keep a crop of layers indefinitely. I wish he’d get a real dog instead of that henless rooster. He had a nice dog named Chance who died. I even liked Chance’s name.

  2. I haven’t gotten brave enough to add chickens to our farm. I HATE bird poop; but I LOVE to hear roosters crowing. I vote ‘no’ to the crock pot! 😉 However, I vote ‘yes’ to you writing more about this interesting character.

    1. Okay Marla, there’s somethin’ wrong with you. Roosters crowin’ all day? And you LIKE this? 🙂 I always wanted chickens but, like you, Momma hated chicken poop and wouldn’t let me have chickens (remember, I live on a family compound). I don’t think I would have had a rooster…

  3. Well now, I am havin’ a hard time grasping that Jr. got rid of the hens to go climb Mt. Everest. That does not make sense. I believe that poor ole rooster is lookin’ for some groovy chicks…

    1. Lemme help you out. The chickens and rooster actually belonged to Junior this time around. I guess Mr. Beekeeper didn’t want to take care of them while Junior was doing Mt. Everest. It irks me that Junior didn’t ask ME to feed his chickens while he was gone so that I could continue to get eggs. They feed our cats when we visit Ms. Priss. I would have gladly fed his chickens. Rooster might be lookin’ for groovy chickens but I’m thinkin’ he’s more interested in groovy worms.

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