DIE, GRASSHOPPER, DIE

Post last updated: November 21st, 2019

I don’t like grasshoppers. They are one of the few critters that I attempt to annihilate on sight. Most of what’s out there in the garden or the yard I leave alone. Grasshoppers, however, cannot be tolerated. They eat and de-leaf everything they get their chompers on. The leaves of my beautiful hibiscus are full of holes.

I chased this sucker all over my flower beds this morning until he landed on my porch railing (please ignore dirt). I then calmly went in the house, got my camera and snapped his photo before I dispatched him to Bug Heaven.

Sayonara, grasshopper!
Obscure Grasshopper, Schistocerca obscura

Nor am I fond of the American Grasshopper, Schistocerca americana. They are common in Florida throughout the year (that’s the really horrible part). They roost at night in the trees and damage gardens by daylight.

American Grasshopper with dark brown spots
American Grasshopper — look at that mouth!

Another one I don’t like is the dreaded Eastern Lubber Grasshopper, Romalea guttata. Dreaded because they are prolific. They hatch in the spring as black grasshoppers with an orange racing stripe down the spine.  I find these young’uns on weeds or wood posts and immediately snatch off my canvas Shoes With Air and beat the living daylights out of them right where they are. If you don’t do it then, not only will your gardens be eaten alive by their hordes, you will find it much harder to beat them to death once they become adults. As adults, they are 3 or 4 inches long like the above monstrosity, with bodies like crustaceans. Just imagine yourself at the beach trying to flail away at a crab or lobster with canvas slip-ons and you’ll understand the difficulty of trying to dispatch an adult grasshopper.

8 thoughts on “DIE, GRASSHOPPER, DIE”

  1. OMG, we are equally maniacal about the grasshoppers !!!!
    In the spring when we walk and see a “cloud” (that’s what they are officially called) of those little black
    w/red racing stripe babies, we do the stomp. Later on, it is a one-by-one thing. They are not fond of
    water so when we are watering, they move and we can find them. Sometimes it’s just the walking
    through the yard that turns them up. The only other insect that I dislike as much are those huge green
    tomato worms and you don’t know they are there until your tomato leaves are all gone.

    1. Hi Grins! I had no idea that a new crop of grasshoppers clustered together is known as a “cloud.” Thanks for educating me. Sometimes I can’t stomp them because they are on a bush too high for me to get my laig (this word is “leg” for those using translators) up there. So I knock ’em unconscious with whatever is at hand and once on the ground, I grind ’em into the soil. No mercy!!! I’m not bothered by the tomato worms as much.

  2. Those poor grasshoppers being sent to grasshopper heaven by a canvas air conditioned shoe! It would have been more stylish to be stomped by a nice stiletto. If I gotta die I want to die with some class and in style.

  3. I am not above using a little bit of Sevin Dust on my flowers. Grasshoppers can denude Canna lilies overnight.

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