WHERE’S MY HEAD?

Post last updated: October 26th, 2018

I have days, like this guy, when I wonder where I left my head. The one with a brain in it.  As it has become a political habit to blame the other guy, let me do the same. It’s the fault of the stingy seed companies.

Most gardeners don’t want to admit having a gambling addiction but, let’s face it. Every seed we pat into the soil is a gamble. Like playing the lottery or roulette wheel, it’s a game of chance. It may come up, it may not. Personally, when it comes to seeds, I like to increase my chances.

The seed companies, like the “house,” are always trying to separate me from my dollar without giving me much of a sporting chance. Too many of them are trying to get a quarter out of me for every seed they sell me whether it sprouts or not. It just offends me to pay $2.50 or $2.75 for 10 seeds. Take your common Echinacea or Purple Coneflower. It’s been around for years and grows wild in prairies. Why do the seed companies have to be so stingy? I don’t have a lot of luck with Purple Coneflower whether I grow it from seed or buy plants. I refuse to give up on it because I like the idea that it’s a perennial that comes back every year. Well, for some people it comes back. This spring I finally got one plant to realize it was a perennial. Obviously, since I don’t happen to live next door to a prairie, I want more than 10 chances to succeed.

Some seed companies don’t want to admit how few seeds they are giving you for your quarter. Their seeds are weighed and the weight is printed on the seed packet. Just how many seeds are in 125 mg? Well, gee, it depends on the size of the seed. I don’t like this. I don’t like it at all. If they don’t want to count seeds, an admittedly tedious job, they could at least count them one time and give us a clue about our chances. For instance, the seed packet should say “125 mg (minimum 30 seeds).”

Unwilling to be nickel and dimed to death, I have drifted in the direction of more generous seed companies. I prefer to lower my cost and increase my chances. For instance, I bought a packet of 900 perennial yarrow seeds for $1.75. I figured that gave me an Even Steven chance of getting maybe five of them to grow into actual plants. The seed packet didn’t appear to actually have 900 seeds but I wasn’t about to sit down and count them to make sure I got my 900 seeds. I wasn’t going to weigh them, either. I don’t know how these yarrow seeds could have been weighed. The seeds were small and as light as one strand of a feather.

However, when it appeared that all the seeds sprouted, I stopped breathing for a moment. If there were 900 seeds in that packet, what was I going to do with 900 yarrow plants? I don’t have 895 friends to fob them off on. I started thinking about giving myself a new title: Headless Brainless Gardener. I mean, what fool plants an entire packet claiming to hold 900 seeds?

I have 45 seed tray cells like this one

9 thoughts on “WHERE’S MY HEAD?”

  1. Who in their right mind would plant that many seeds at one time? Are you crazy? Oh, I forgot you don’t have a brain. But to help you out, my brainless wonder, I will take 2 plants off your hands. You don’t have to thank me.

  2. Good points here, with great humor. I opened a packet of seeds the other day and was surprised to find – you guessed it – 10 seeds. I kept shaking the package, as I’ve never seen so few seeds in a packet of seeds. Then, like you, I looked to see if they were labeled 10 seeds, but no, by weight. If there had been 20 seeds in the packet, I wouldn’t have been disappointed. Either way, it would be nice to know what’s actually in the packet. I really wanted a few more melons seeds. (Which, by the way, 0 have come up.) My husband, however, likes to buy seeds in bulk – and plant them all! Good luck with your 900 plants!

    1. Holley — Thanks for mentioning the humor. I like to hear that people got a chuckle. Whoa! Buying seeds in bulk and planting them all! Jimminy Cricket! By the way, your blog mentioned having poor luck with Wal-Mart plants. I’ve still got an everbearing strawberry I bought from them last year and a powder puff bush that I must have purchased 5+ years ago that freezes to the ground every winter but comes back in the spring and blooms through the first freeze. Magnificent bush. Most of my stuff is now purchased at Home Depot and that nearly dead table at Lowes, half of which dies because it is too distressed.

    1. Meta – You made my day! I had been losing my momentum and wasn’t posting as much because it seemed that the humor wasn’t coming across. People were commenting but never mentioning the humor and my intent was to entertain.

  3. Give Evie the two plants – that means you only have to get rid of 893 plants now. I belive you are supposed to plant extra seeds to improve your chance at fertility.
    Lady Di

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